Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Street Closures and political yuppies

Avoid Hollywood Blvd tomorrow (Thursday) at all costs my young padawans. In fact, if you dont like traffic, avoid Hollywood all together. As many of you know and many of you dont, Thursday evening there will be a Democtratic debate at the Kodak Theater which I will most likely be in attendance to prevent anybody going down RFK style.

I refuse to express who my choice for president is and I refuse to place a bumper sticker on my AT-AT since those things are tough to peal off and I dont want to look like some people still driving around with "Dukakis in 88" stickers still stuck to their vans. But I can tell you that I will vote and encourage all eligible voters to brave the weather and brave the lines and vote.

Because of the security preparations for this event, I have been
advised that Hollywood Boulevard will be closed from Highland to
Orange, with a soft closure to LaBrea, from 9 a.m. to midnite on
Thursday, January 31. I am advised that Orange will be closed, also,
from Hollywood to Franklin.

Plan your travel day well and if you have to go down there and chant with all the other political yuppies, for yodas sake please take the metro!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Your favorite DJ's, favorite DJ's

DJ's StoneRokk and Graham Funke have created a downloadable cd for your home entertainment. Now you don't have to go stand in line to catch the spinning and mixing skills of these two talented DJ's.

StoneRokk can be found spinnin' and sometimes strippin' at Crimson on Tuesdays, Les Deux on Wednesdays and S Bar on Sundays. All right here in Hollywood.

Graham Funke who is always flying around mixin it up all over the country can next be found in Hollywood at Hollywood & Highland Saturday February 9th along side StoneRokk.

Now if only they could mix in a little Max Rebo Band.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Coruscant Central Park.... err I mean Hollywood Central Park

As many of you know I am a HUGE advocate of green space in LA and especially Hollywood in particular East Hollywood. Tomorrow morning the people behind the 101 Fwy Central Park which proposes to put a cap over the 101 freeway will be holding a community meeting at Selma Elementary to discuss the progress and possible future of the unprecedented 34 acres of green space to be created on top of the 101. Yes I said in top of the 101. Crazy you say? Not really. Its been done before as close as La Canada over the 210 but who gives a womprat about those places in the SGV anyways? These guys do.

This is your opportunity to do something and make a difference in your community and stop bitching about crime, lack of parks, how shitty LA is etc etc etc. I'm tired of hearing transplants talk about how great their hometown is. I'm sure many of you have your doubts and have many questions but don't knock it until you hear the explanations and answers. Some people think the park is a bad thing and blah blah blah blah blah and I only have one thing to say to those people.
To be honest, these people sound like the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons when they start talking about fence height ordinances and variances and other bantha fodder like that. Dude, you people are old and you wont even be alive when the thing is finished, let us younger folks plan the future of this city. Besides, nobody really likes Grand Moff Tarkin and his cronies anyways.

This is the future of Hollywood and Los Angeles as a whole my young padawans. Hope to see you all there.

For more info on this meeting visit this link.


You call this a winter storm? Some people seem to be. I've gotten more wet opening a can of soda than this so called winter storm. Obviously you people have never been to Kamino.

Sunday, January 20, 2008


Last night I went out in my AT-AT in search of an upgrade on my R2 unit. My current one had a bad motivator and had been giving me some problems lately. I stopped by a toshi station and looked around, worked with a few of the units and decided I didnt need to upgrade my r2 unit.... I needed a protocol droid. After some bargaining and a few jedi mind tricks I walked away from the toshi station with a brand spankin new protocol droid. Dodger Blue naturally.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Hillary Dead!

Thats Sir Edmund Hillary, not that anybody really cares now. I just wanted to post a title that caught your attention. If anything it gives my readers a chance to read up on a pretty cool guy.

Kiwi anyone?

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Goodbye Johnny

Hollywood's Honorary Mayor Johnny Grant has passed onto the netherworld of the force last night. Last night I had a late dinner with The Turd Burglar at 25 degrees which is located at the Roosevelt Hotel when I noticed many cameras and news vans reporting. I was not aware of such a sad moment going on upstairs in Johnny Grants suite.

Having met Johnny on several occasions at distinct functions which commemorated senior volunteers in Hollywood, Star unveiling's, and Chamber of Commerce meetings, I can say he was delightful man who until recently always remembered my name and who I was. He would say "Jedi, the streets are safer with you in them." Jedi Master Garcetti was quoted saying "Johnny Grant was Hollywood's greatest star," he brought Hollywood the industry and Hollywood the neighborhood together. He was at the center of the story of Hollywood"

He will be missed.

Oh btw, my burger was nectareous.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Bart Simpson said it best...

"I didn't do it"

Last night during all the rain and wind, a palm tree fell just down the street from the Jedi Temple. I know what you are all thinking, and no, this was not me going into another fit of Force Rage. In fact last night the Force was drained out of me slowly to the point of utter uselessness until I walked home this afternoon and saw this. The palm tree narrowly missed a land speeder that belongs to who I like to call, the Evil Sith Lord of my street. I tried as much as I could but the Force having been drained away by a lovely seductress last night limited my power. So I just called 3-1-1 and let them take care of it. A couple of the locals had already begun to remove the branches of the palm. Probably the most excitement they've seen all year.

Friday, January 4, 2008

In a fit of Force Rage....

I did this! Don't bother asking what enraged me so much that I would do this to a poor street light on the corner of Santa Monica and Madison in front of the Cahuenga Branch Library in East Hollywood, just know that if you anger this Jedi, then you must pay the consequences.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Padawan defends mother

An 11-year old boy defended his mother with his light saber as she was being beaten by a 30-year old man.

In my defense...

as a Jedi I was helping the crew with the "clean-up on aisle Highland" (highland?). Somebody beat me to the post. Rest assured it will be clean by rush hour and the oncoming storm. Regardless, Northbound traffic on Highland should take Odin Street around the mess and onto the 101 via Cahuenga.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

This makes the Baby Luke cry.

Lemme start off by saying Happy New Year to all my padawans. I enjoyed a night around a warm hearth with some of my closest friends and jedi. Pictures soon.

The overabundance of silly cat websites like caturday, lolcat and icanhascheezburger where people photoshop pictures of cats with really bad grammar has hit a brand new low. Somebody has taken the good book and translated it into stupid cat speak.

This reminds me of the last time somebody tried to speak like an idiot and created a search engine for people who speak funny. Okay so its more of a website translator but you get what I mean.

May the Force be with most of you.