Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Dont be alarmed!

That ground shaking you felt earlier today, turned out to be a prototype concussion grenade tested by mandalorians out by Chino Hills. Looks like it works. I keep telling them that they gotta stop that shit but I can only handle so many mandalorians by myself. Nerves were rattled, tears were shed, especially in tall buildings downtown by hysterical women, water mains were broken and unreinforced brick buildings were damaged. Basically, I make the Jedi Temple shake more when the Jedi Mistress is in town.

New Ride!

Well kinda. After driving a mighty AT-AT, driving anything else is like shooting wamp rats back home. Pretty tame. These days I'm relegated to driving a Sand Crawler. I feel like a soccer mom driving this thing around. Despite losing my ride I'm looking forward to purchasing something that looks like a YT-1300 light freighter I can nickname The Falcon. Of course I'll try my best to get it in Dodger Blue.

Monday, July 28, 2008

T-47 brings down AT-AT

Saturday night while stomping my way down to San Diego to visit other Jedi at the Annual Comic-Con I was attacked by a drunk T-47 pilot. Rather than use a harpoon and tow cable like most conventional snow speeder pilots, this one decided to crash into a wall, pushing it into my lane.

With only parsecs to react and the AT-AT's inability to swerve like a pod-racer, I struck the wall at full speed. The impact launched me into the air breaking one of my legs. After landing and having only three legs to control the damaged AT-AT, it succumbed to the excess weight and nothing to hold it up and I fell on my side where I dragged along the ground for about 20 feet when my broken leg caught on something flipping me over onto my remaining, now damaged legs and it finally fell on its chin. Medical droids arrived soon after and they all malfunctioned after they saw me walk away from the metal carnage.

*Obviously now that the tragedy has passed I can laugh about it on this blog but to be serious for a moment, I am fine. I should be dead. The drunk driver was traveling on the opposite side of the freeway when she hit the center divider head first pushing a portion of the wall into my lane where I hit it. I flew, I flipped, I dragged and flipped again. I walked away with a small scratch on my left elbow.*






Drunk didnt fair much better:

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Beware the Sarlacc!

Lat night while attending the Silver Lake Neighborhood Councils monthly board meeting I came accross this gem after the fighting and bickering stopped over some pesky bylaws matter. Silver Lake also became the second Neighborhood Council to support the Bicyclists Bill of Rights.

During post Bill of Rights celebrations one of the cyclists nearly fell into the Great Pit of Carkoon only to notice the sign after a rescue attempt was successful. Moments later the Sarlacc crawled back into its depression awaiting its next unsuspecting victim.